5 Tips for Everyone Planning a Wedding

So first of all, I loved my wedding and look back on it with immense fondness. I mean what’s not to love right? I married the love of my life, and got to start our married life together in the company of our family and friends. Having said that, the road to the wedding was kind of bumpy and so I wanted to write down certain things I wish I knew that would have made my wedding planning so much easier.

Btw, in case you’re planning your tinghun before your wedding, I have incredibly detailed step-by-step guides w/ supplier reviews here as well:

But first, let me walk you through what I did know and did do, that I would 100% recommend other brides (and grooms) do as well.

At the end, I also created a detailed writeup of my thoughts for EACH wedding vendor that you should consider, so do check that out too!

#1 Invest in your marriage before you invest on the wedding.

Even before we got engaged, my then-boyfriend and I actually did a couple counselling session together already. We did this SYMBIS program, which I highly recommend, especially if you’re data-driven.

SYMBIS link: https://www.symbis.com/

They have you take a short test beforehand, then a report is generated with all these cool-looking graphs and charts. You can then choose a SYMBIS coach to go through the report with you (which I highly recommend because it helps to have a 3^rd party help process it with you). While Josh and I had known each other for 12 years at this point, we felt SYMBIS helped us better understand each other, especially when it came to deeply-rooted beliefs we held about marriage (incl. how we think of money, chores distribution etc). This was particularly helpful because the coach helped surface how our childhood, our family background, and what we saw with our parents helped shape this belief. We finished the program feeling more comfortable in knowing we would enter marriage with our eyes wide open.

Post-engagement, we also looked into pre-marital counselling both by CCF (the church I was attending at the time) and Victory (the church Josh was attending). In the end, we went with Victory because our officiating pastor would come from Victory. We enjoyed the Blueprint for Marriage program too, as they assigned a coach couple to also walk through each session with us and help do mini-processing. As for CCF, we got the PMC materials too and just did it on our own time (although these were incredibly long so tbh we didn’t finish it and only just focused on the modules that we felt would be helpful to discuss further (it’s helpful because the module questionnaire asks questions you wouldn’t have thought to ask OR had questions you might be shy to ask each other).

Not to say doing all this will guarantee a wonderful peace-free marriage, but it will help you understand each other better and open up channels of communication! This is critical especially as you embark on wedding planning together, which for most couples, would be the first major project where you both have a strong opinion, and where the impact affects you both (and potentially your families!)

#2 Set a wedding budget, add a 10% buffer. Then, stick to it.

A big area of disagreement when it comes to a wedding is really the budget. I’m thankful though that this was one area we didn’t have problems with. In large part, this was because we had agreed on a budget early on. My husband also had a foresight to then add an additional 10% to the budget as a buffer, in order to account for the possibility that we go over in certain areas. Thankfully, we didn’t, although I was surprised to realize how many additional charges you have to consider on top of the actual supplier fee. For example: crew meals (you’d be shocked at the number of crew you have to feed for lights and sounds, and stylist), out-of-town-fees, last minute purchases/bookings etc.

So how we did it was, the wedding budget was placed into one bank account (and that’s all the bank account is for). All payments to suppliers were taken from this account, post-dated cheques etc. were also issued from this account. This made tracking and reconciliation easier. After the wedding, we then converted this into a joint account for me and Josh.

Likewise, we didn’t just set a wedding budget, but we also roughly agreed on our top non-negotiables (food, photographer, videographer) and assigned a rough budget to each supplier category as well. What we did when we started was: we went to multiple wedding fairs (my top recommendation would be TOAST Bridal Fair just because the suppliers there are pretty curated already – also they’re the pricey suppliers so you can set that as your max budget range) as well as joined WAWIES (an FB group catering to brides and grooms, where reviews of previous suppliers have been shared), then based on that, we were able to get a rough feel of how much a supplier should cost. Shockingly, some were very expensive (example being HMUA – who knew it could get so expensive), while others were not as expensive as we initially thought.

By having these rough budgets in mind, we could then more easily determine when we could afford a certain supplier, and if we really wanted him/her, where we could afford to cut the budget of other suppliers

#3 Book the critical suppliers ASAP.

When I say critical, I’m referring to suppliers that can only service one wedding a day – for example, the venue (church and reception), HMUA, photographer, videographer, stylist, coordinator (I would highly recommend getting a coordinator who only does one wedding a day – I dislike Teams A/B/C with a passion), caterer (if you aren’t doing it in a hotel). And of course, if you have certain must-have suppliers, do make sure they’re available on your wedding date and book them ASAP

Don’t think – oh my wedding is still so far away, there’s still time later on. Not if they’re critical AND popular suppliers. You’ll be shocked to know a lot of suppliers are booked one year beforehand. So unless you want to go through the stress of realizing that the supplier you want is already booked, and scrambling to find another option, I suggest you book these as early as you can. Then you can chill after

But of course, the important thing you need before you can book your suppliers is the wedding date AND venue.

For a detailed reviews of each supplier (and my thoughts on what you should consider when booking each), scroll on down to the bottom of this article!

#4 Choose your wedding date wisely

My biggest advice here would be to AVOID December as a wedding date, in large part because it’s just so darn traffic (if you get married before the 20^th), then you also risk having key family and friends missing (if you get married after the 20^th) as most people start going out of the country or returning to their provinces then.

But not just that, everything becomes ridiculously more expensive in December. Did you know certain suppliers (e.g. caterers and florists) charge +10% or next year’s rates when you get married in December? Crazy, total ripoff.

Also sadly, the weather in December is also pretty weird nowadays. In the past, the rainy season ended by November. But now, we still experience rainshowers in December. So if you’re looking at a garden wedding (like I did), you may want to steer away from December.

Although on the plus side, when you get married in December, at least you can kind of relax and honeymoon immediately after since it’s the holidays! That was pretty nice to be honest. So lots of pros and cons, but I’d say December is one of the worst months to get married.

I’d also say the first 2 weeks of January would be tough BECAUSE all the suppliers are crazy busy in December so they’ll reply quite slowly to you. And since lots of last minute stuff pop up the month before, it would be nice to have a responsive team!

As for February, do avoid February 14 (and a few days before that) because flower prices would be crazy high then! So for me, especially if you want a garden wedding, ideal would be 2^nd half of February to 1^st half of March.

Alternatively though, if you’re getting married indoors anyway, so weather doesn’t play that big of a factor for you, then you can aim for June / July, which is the off-peak season for weddings.

Once your wedding date is finalized, it’s now time to work your way backwards and:

Book your tinghun date: ideally ~a month before (or even more than a month) your wedding date so you aren’t stressing over 2 events super close to each other. For those planning for their tinghun, I have a whole tinghun guide written up (because I know how stressful it is to plan a tinghun!!). Check them out here:
Book your prenup photoshoot date: ideally you avoid the rainy season so you have more flexibility to do an outdoor shoot. Having said that, if you’re OK with an indoor shoot, then any time should be fine!

#4 Determine who you want at your wedding

Not saying you need a complete guest list right away, but knowing roughly if you want a small intimate wedding, a medium-sized one with family and friends to the nth degree, or a ginormous one with everyone you’ve ever known and talked to etc – will help you set the tone on what sort of venue you’ll want, and even what kind of cake you should consider (apparently bigger weddings = more tiers on your cakes needed so it can be seen by your guests!)

At the end of the day, consider – who’s paying for your wedding. If it’s your parents, their wishes need to be taken into account. If it’s you and your partner, then your wishes take priority (although of course, you can choose to accommodate some of your parents’ friends still because I’m sure your parents want to show the world their child is #finally married haha, basta hindi buong barangay coz it’s quite expensive!).

Actually, one way to accommodate this is to have a separate reception for the friends of parents, if they really want to invite more people but you only want a small wedding. In my experience, friends of parents don’t really mind if they aren’t invited to the wedding itself. They just want to hang out with their friends LOL. So in our case, there was a separate reception a month after my wedding (long break because I got married mid-December, then so many people were out of the country after, so the 2^nd reception was held mid-January), where all the videos shown during the wedding was shown (pre-nup, tinghun, childhood growing up video) as well as our full ~10mins wedding film (which showcased the prep, the vows, and the reception). Josh & I actually loved this reception because there was 0 pressure this time since we were already married, plus the actual entertaining of guests were up to the parents, so we could just chill the whole night. Best feeling!

For those who are planning to do the same thing (e.g. separate reception for parent’s friends), just book the following: (I also left a review of my suppliers here: Budgetarian Manila-based Chinese Host, Stylist, and Lights and Sounds Suppliers Review )

Restaurant (East Ocean, Gloria Maris, Century etc.)
Lights and sounds w/ LED wall (if you want to show all the wedding videos): I skimped on my lights and sounds supplier which I 100% do NOT recommend. Invest in good lights and sounds
Stylist (super super simple styling only – I got stage + backdrop styling, simple flowers on the table, and photoman backdrop)
HMUA: You still want to look your best on the day!! I had a different “look” for the 2^nd reception too para maiba naman
Gown: Personally, my wedding gown was a 2-way gown, so I ditched the outer skirt, and just wore the inner tulip skirt to the 2^nd reception instead.
Host (optional). I got one though so that the host could just to move the program along – if you do have a program. She was also the one to help coordinate with the restaurant on when a new course of food would be served. Also I got a singing host, so she also sang a few songs for entertainment)
Photoman / photobooth (optional, but this can serve as your souvenir for guests). I highly recommend getting a photoman (instead of a photobooth) because I assume friends of parents are old-ish, so they’re not the type to get up and go out to have their photos taken. So a photoman is nice because they go to you, AND if there are many of you in the picture, you can ask them to snap a couple of pics so everyone gets a copy. Overall, I find photoman really great value for money. In fact, I highly highly recommend my photoman supplier. You can check out my detailed photoman vs photobooth thoughts + my recommended photoman supplier here:
Coordinator (optional). Since this is a very low-key event, I honestly don’t think a coordinator is needed. Personally I didn’t get one anymore. I just got some of our staff and friends to help out in making sure suppliers were set up properly before the guests arrived (hard for me to do this myself because I was still getting my hair and makeup done), and to help direct the guests to their proper seats when they did arrive
Alcohol: Is it a Chinese wedding reception without whiskey? Don’t forget to buy whiskey bottles to serve to your guests!

#5 Don’t forget to talk about life AFTER the wedding

Sometimes we can get so caught up with wedding planning that we completely forget that there’s a whole life AFTER that we have to prepare for. This includes:

Where are you staying post-wedding? Are you renting a condo, buying a condo, buying a pre-existing house and lot, buying a lot and building a house, and the list goes on and on. Regardless, do know that searching for a place to live takes time. Then, building the house or even just renovating the house/condo also takes time. Not just that, afterwards, you also need to consider furnishing the place. So all this requires careful planning!
Will you have a joint account or separate accounts? There are many ways to go about this, but critical to start considering this as early as possible so you can get your finances in order. One top tip for me is to have a joint account (even just for operational expenses). This makes it easier to track how much you jointly have to spend for joint expenses. You can also assign a rough budget for these expense categories
Who is in charge of what chores? Good to start this discussion early on as well so there’s no disagreements or shocks that occur once you’re living together, because believe me, when you live together, you’ll be surprised at all the little pet peeves and disagreements that will pop up!

All this and more can be discussed, and should be covered when you go through pre-marital counselling. And of course, your honeymoon (if you choose to do so) requires planning too! Personally, I would recommend NOT scheduling the honeymoon immediately after the wedding so as to give yourself breathing space – not just to plan the honeymoon, but also to close out loose ends from the wedding. Remember, post-wedding, you would want to thank all your guests for coming, tally all your gifts as well as your expenses, and generally just tidy up after the fact. You don’t want to immediately go off on your honeymoon then come home to a mess (this is what happened to us and it was rather tiring hehe although we really enjoyed just rewarding ourselves with a nice trip after all the wedding stress!)

And of course, as promised, please see below links for a detailed writeup of my thoughts for EACH wedding vendor that you should consider, as well as a review of my own wedding supplier. I’ve arranged them in order of importance to make it easier for you to track which ones you should have booked already depending on where you are in your wedding planning

#1 Venue: Wedding Venue Consideration and Arocarria Review

#2 Wedding Coordinator: Wedding Coordinator Considerations

#3 HMUA: Hair and Makeup Suppliers suitable for Chinita brides

#4 Host (esp. if you want a Chinese host since there’s a limited supply)

#5 Caterer (if you didn’t go with a hotel/venue with catering already): Juan Carlo Plated Caterer Review

#6 Photographer: Wedding Photographer Thoughts and Reviews

#7 Videographer: Wedding Videographer Thoughts and Reviews

#8 Stylist (incl. Chair and Tents): Tagaytay Wedding Stylist, Chair and Tent for rent – Supplier Reviews

#9 Lights and Sounds: Wedding Lights & Sounds Reviews

#10 Outfit: Dress and Shoes (Bride, Broom, Entourage, Parents): Wedding Attire Supplier Considerations and Reviews – Bridal Gown, Prep Robe, Entourage Gown, Mother of Bride Gown, Barong, Customized Shoes

#11 Photoman / Photobooth: Wedding Supplier Review: Photoman vs Photobooth

#12 Wedding Ring: Studio 925 DIY Silver Weddings Rings Workshop review (we did this for our anniversary and use it as our dummy rings)